Dilemmas of a Shortie

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June 2, 2014 by sueflora

I’m considered shorter than the average, standing at 5″1 and you know what, it’s not too bad down here. There are the advantages such as being able to sneakily trick the bus driver that you’re younger than you actually are and getting a cheaper ticket (they’re overpriced anyway) and having wayy more leg space than everyone else on planes πŸ™‚ but you know we munchkins often have it hard. So hey #shortiesunite, there’s a hashtag for y’all.

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Problemosass

  1. you’re often an armrest- all you giants are the culprits.
  2. trousers are always long despite the waist fitting, either trim the bottom or fold, eurgh too much fuss.
  3. on the topic of clothes, not all of my fave shops have a petite section.
  4. Β music concerts end up being a “back of head” exhibition.
  5. always having to awkwardly ask a person next to you to pass a Ben and Jerry’s chunky monkey from the top shelf at a supermarket for you.
  6. needing to lift shopping bags a little bit higher when walking around because they’ll reach the floor.
  7. when lining up for group photos realising that you’re the shortest.
  8. when people describe my appearance associating me only with my vertically challenged-ness, “you know..uh..the short one!”
  9. taller friends looking over me and going, “where’d you go?” When I know PLAINLY that they can see me, probably.
  10. friends that aren’t even that much taller treating you as if you’re diminutive, “how’s the view down there?”.
  11. meeting people who you literally have to look straight up to see. My neck achessss. 😩
  12. people bending down without themselves even realising that they have.
  13. heels hurt, a lot.
  14. getting pat on the head, CONSTANTLY. IM NOT A DOG. 🐢
  15. writing on the whiteboard and not being able to reach to the top.

So yeah, think twice before you make a clichΓ© overused joke to a vertically challenged person, it’s literally an overwhelming world for them. But seriously you get used to it until the next tall-ie cracks a joke about Oompa Loompas, then I give you full permission to snap your fingers say something sassy and strut away. Well good luck shorties, I salute you πŸ™‚ πŸ’‚πŸ˜›

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Adios –Sue–

 

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